I'm in a high state of excitement, because by this time next week, I will be on my second day of shooting my modest little film. That is to say, if everything goes as planned. So far, it's been a blast. It's fun to feel excitement and fear and, at the same time, feel strangely calm as well. Okay, not that calm, but also not that fearful either. Modestly intimidated and hugely motivated.
I've tried to prepare as much as I can, but I also don't want to overdo the preparation. I know I'm going to screw up somewhere and that's part of the deal. The trick is to screw up less than reasonably expected. It's fun to be involved in something that you don't know all the answers to (hell, you don't even know many of the questions). I haven't felt like I've learned this much in a long, long time and it feels great. Cause you know what, advertising pays well only because otherwise nobody in their right mind would subject themselves to such enforced, and useless inanity.
But in this little, complicated movie world, I'm in my element, my dears. Let's face it: it ain't no secret I enjoy bossing people around. I'd like to think I do it nicely and politely and collaboratively, but I love to feel people are paying attention to me. Didn't need too many years of therapy to figure that one out. And as long as something worthy comes out of it, why not? It's very bracing.
I have written film reviews for years and I'm very happy to have the tables turned on me. Eat some humble pie.
I wish I could tell you some juicy gossip about this process, but I don't want to compromise anything before we start, because this is a public site, read by the six of you, but one never knows. Besides, there is really not that much to tell yet. I'm looking forward to working with the actors, and I hope that I can communicate to them what I'm looking for. Then I hope they help me and then I hope that what I want comes out on screen.
So wish me luck.