Time To Kvetch: Oscars 2016

Once again, the time is near for that extended fest of self-congratulation and foregone conclusions that we can't look away from.  As always, I strongly recommend that if you watch, you do so with copious amounts of booze. I pity Chris Rock and hope he comes up with the goods. He is in the unenviable position of emceeing a pageant where people like him are routinely ignored.
My two cents: the Academy is no more or less racist than the rest of the Hollywood industry; it reflects it perfectly. Black actors and other actors of color simply don't appear in enough important roles in Hollywood movies and when they do, most voting members do not watch said movies. People (Charlotte Rampling and Michael Caine, I'm talking to you) who confuse the griping about racism in the Oscars with some sort of affirmative action quota system are getting it wrong. Nobody is asking the Academy to bestow nominations on undeserving people, regardless of race.
The lack of diversity in the nominations stems from an ingrained bias in Hollywood that needs to be corrected from inception: in order to have a more diverse roster of nominees in the Oscars, there need to be more movies made about diverse people and with diverse people in starring and supporting roles, not just second bananas and window dressing. That these movies and these performances need to be deserving of awards goes without saying. Tokenism only makes things worse.
Also, voting members would do well to take their duties seriously and watch movies all year long so that they nominate their peers from the widest pool of quality films available. Thanks to the internet, everyone can find the most buzzed about and critically acclaimed movies in the festival circuit. It behooves the voters to do their homework and not only see the big stuff.  In fact, there are some glaring omissions due to the Academy's indifference to small or independent films, some of which are superior to several of the bloated movies in the Best Picture roster (99 Homes, Diary of A Teenage Girl, to name just two). The Hollywood Reporter has conducted interviews with anonymous voters who reveal their voting behaviors. Turns out that members don't watch the screeners, they vote for their best friends or against their enemies, for whatever makes more money, or for whoever spent more money to sway them.

Now, my Oscar kvetching criteria consist of which are the best movies in terms of content and quality. Not the biggest money makers, not politically correct statements, not consolation prizes, not crowd pleasers. There are movies in this list which I have not seen and I can't really air my opinions on those. Disclaimer: As with the Powerball, my spotty predictions are for entertainment purposes only. I accept a cut of the winnings if you hit the jackpot. 

Blue reflects who will win and red who should win. 

YES and NO reflect whether these are deserved nominations in my view.

Best Picture
The Big Short. YES.

Bridge of Spies. NO. Bo-ring!
Brooklyn. YES! And my favorite of this bunch.
Mad Max: Fury Road. NO. Dark and visually interesting, but basically, a migraine-inducing 2-hour chase.
The Martian. NO. A dumbass, obnoxious movie if there ever was one.
The Revenant. YES. Iñárritu's most coherent movie but will he win twice in a row?
Room. FINE. The only small movie which made the cut.
Spotlight. FINE. This one is the runner up. The Academy loves righteousness.

SNUBBED:
All of these movies are better than The Martian, Bridge of Spies and Mad Max:
The End Of The Tour
The Diary of A Teenage Girl
Carol
Steve Jobs
99 Homes
Love and Mercy
Ex-Machina

Best Director

Adam McKay, The Big Short
Tom McCarthy, Spotlight

Alejandro G. Iñárritu, The Revenant.  

George Miller, Mad Max: Fury Road
Lenny Abrahamson, Room

SNUBBED:
John Crowley, Brooklyn
James Ponsoldt, The End Of The Tour
Rahmin Bahrani, 99 Homes
Alex Garland, Ex-Machina
Marielle Heller, Diary of A Teenage Girl
Danny Boyle, Steve Jobs

Best Actor
Bryan Cranston, Trumbo. He's fine, but NO. 

Matt Damon, The Martian. FINE. He's the only interesting thing to watch in that stupid movie. 

Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant. YES. He's good, as always, but this is a consolation prize for all the other times he should have won, and for enduring a tough shoot. 

Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs. YES. He is fantastic. 

Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl. NO. He allowed himself to overact and the movie SUX.

SNUBBED:
Jason Segel, The End Of The Tour. The performance of the year.
Michael Caine, Youth.
Paul Dano, Love and Mercy.
Jacob Tremblay, Room.
I haven't seen them, but I bet Michael B. Jordan in Creed and Idris Elba in Beasts Of No Nation are deserving.

Best Actress
Cate Blanchett, Carol. YES. She's always good. 

Brie Larson, Room. FINE. 

Jennifer Lawrence, Joy. YES. She ROCKS. 

Charlotte Rampling, 45 Years. YES. She's not gonna win because, big mouth. 

Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn. YES. The winner in my book.

SNUBBED:

Bel Powley, The Diary Of A Teenage Girl
Elizabeth Moss, Queen of Earth



Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Big Short. YES.
Tom Hardy, The Revenant. YES. Abso-fuckin-lutely.
Mark Ruffalo, Spotlight. NO. I thought he was the weakest one in the cast.
Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies. NO. He's too shticky.
Sylvester Stallone, Creed.

SNUBBED:
Michael Shannon, 99 Homes
Oscar Isaac, Ex-Machina
Steve Carell, The Big Short
Ryan Gosling, The Big Short
Liev Schreiber, Spotlight
Stanley Tucci, Spotlight
Jason Bateman, The Gift
Chewbacca. Just checking if you're reading this far.

Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight. I haven't seen it but I bet she's great.
Rooney Mara, Carol. YES. She's great.
Rachel McAdams, Spotlight. NO. She's good but nothing special.
Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl. NO. A good actress acting unevenly on account of a hack director.
Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs. YES. She's great.

SNUBBED:
Virginia Madsen, Joy
Julie Walters, Brooklyn
Joan Allen, Room
Alicia Vikander, Ex-Machina
Elizabeth Banks, Love and Mercy
Jennifer Jason Leigh, Anomalisa

Best Original Screenplay
Bridge of Spies. NO.
Ex Machina. YES.
Inside Out. I didn't see it. Pixar gets on my last nerve.
Spotlight. FINE.
Straight Outta Compton. Didn't see it.

SNUBBED:
The End Of The Tour
Love and Mercy
99 Homes
The Gift

Best Adapted Screenplay
The Big Short. YES.
Brooklyn. YES. My favorite, but too elegant and beautiful to win.
Carol. FINE.
The Martian. NO.
Room. YES.

SNUBBED:
Steve Jobs
Diary Of A Teenage Girl

Best Animated Feature
Anomalisa. This is the only one I've seen. It's very good.
Boy and the World
Inside Out. Possible winner. People never tire of this stuff.
Shaun the Sheep Movie
When Marnie Was There

Best Foreign Language Film
Embrace of the Serpent
Mustang.YES.
Son of Saul. YES. This will win.
Theeb
A War. YES.

SNUBBED: (technically, countries send their official submissions, which is bullshit)
Taxi, Iran
The Wonders, Italy
Phoenix, Germany
The Tribe, Ukraine
Mommy, Canada

Best Documentary Feature
Amy. YES.
Cartel Land
The Look of Silence
What Happened, Miss Simone? NO. A mess.
Winter on Fire: Ukraine’s Fight for Freedom

Best Cinematography
Ed Lachman, Carol. YES.
Robert Richardson, The Hateful Eight. Haven't seen it.
John Seale, Mad Max: Fury Road. YES.
Emmanuel Lubezki, The Revenant. WOW. This should win.
Roger Deakins, Sicario. NO. He should have won for every movie he's ever made. Not this one. Next year, for Hail, Ceasar! 

SNUBBED:
Youth
The Assassin
Ex-Machina

Best Production Design. 

Bridge of Spies. YES.
Mad Max: Fury Road. YES.
The Martian. YES.
The Revenant. YES.
The Danish Girl. OK.

Best Costume Design
Carol. YES.
Cinderella. YES. 
The Danish Girl. YES.
Mad Max: Fury Road. YES.
The Revenant. YES. 

Best Original Score
Bridge of Spies
Carol
The Hateful Eight
Sicario
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Possible winner.

Best Original Song
“Earned It,” 50 Shades Of Grey.
“Manta Ray,” Racing Extinction
“Simple Song #3,” Youth. 
“Til It Happens to You,” The Hunting Ground
“Writing’s on the Wall,” Spectre

May the force be with you.

The Martian

Lovingly polished to within an inch of its life, this sophomoric outer space busyness by Ridley Scott, based on the novel by Andy Weir, is not only an extended commercial for NASA (not that there's anything wrong with that), but as the Magnificent Arepa memorably put it, it most resembles a reality cooking show -- in space.
The film makes an impassioned case about "sciencing the shit out of" everything, and this is a worthy message in these obscurantist times, in which millions of Americans think the world was created in seven days and women are a figment of Adam's rib. However, cheerleading for science does not a good movie make.
The premise is promising enough: a guy is left for dead in Mars. He is all alone in the red planet and needs to survive for as long as he can with what's left in the spaceship. But because he happens to be an American with an extreme case of gung-hoitis, there is not one pause in this film for poetry, or self-reflection, or awe, or a personal reckoning with the universe. This Mark Watney is a doer, a hero with a capital H, and he has no time to ponder. What he has plenty of time for is cracking wise and complaining about disco music. There is nothing wrong with humor, and we were not expecting Tarkovski, but the character is insufferable. Matt Damon, a damn fine actor, does what he can to make Watney likable and human, but the character, as written by Drew Goddard with teenagers in mind, is an alpha-male jock with a soft spot for plants. I liked that he was smart and solved problems, but I hated his self-congratulation, his smugness, and his competitiveness with no one around. Wouldn't it be more exciting to cast perhaps a more fragile nerd, so that the odds would seem more insurmountable? One look at Damon's abs and his superior blondness, and we know that there is no way that this enterprising bro won't make it.
One goes to the desert here on Earth and is quickly brought down to size by our sudden awareness of our insignificance in the grand scheme of things. This guy is all alone in Mars and he acts like a sitcom character. He has no time for vulnerability. There is shit to do. When alone in space and about to die, one is cocky. These are the values Hollywood exports: only the individual is heroic, he works solo and his is all the glory. They don't bother giving him an Achilles heel. He doesn't have hubris. He's the perfect guy for the job. Even with a team of equally insufferable heroic characters on Earth trying to help him, each one trying to be his own little hero, there is no sense of something bigger than the individual. Republicans who extoll the virtues of bootstrapping must love this crap. I wonder if the rest of the world is not fed up already with this relentless hero worship. It can't be the only game on Earth.
I do not understand why this movie is in 3D. The opening sequence in which a tornado hits and Watney is left for dead is visually incomprehensible. The photography by Dariusz Wolski is spectacular, and so is the production design by Arthur Max, but everything is busy with endeavor, and Ridley Scott gets lyrical only with a few lovely scenes of the crew members cavorting in zero gravity. The rest is scientific exposition that no one understands, or endless repetition of the same tired clichés. How many times can you see people clapping and cheering in control rooms, here or in China? How many times is the hero going to bitch about disco music? Do we need a character who announces that something might go wrong and then cut right to everything going wrong? There is no sense of wonder, let alone surprise. The movie, which involves cooperation with the Chinese space program in order to sell billions of tickets in China, pretends to be clever, but it is written for dumb appeal.
As incomprehensible as the opening sequence is the scientific mumbo jumbo the poor actors have to spout while pretending they understand any of it. I resent movies where they throw technical jargon at us. They make the audience think it's smart for paying attention. Who knows what any of it means? Who cares? Are you going to go check your equations to see if it pans out?
Worse, I never really understood why they couldn't send the crew back to retrieve Watney. The obstacles seem invented out of thin air only to create fake moral dilemmas. Which is why I find movies like The Martian morally bankrupt. They squander the opportunity to say something true about being human and instead they sound like the Koch Brothers, if only they liked plants.